Wednesday 23 May 2012
Religion scores
It amazes me that throughout the centuries people have said their
religion, or what they believe, in is right and everyone else is wrong.
When you think about it religion is like football, it's all roughly the
same we just choose which side to support, or not. Carlsberg don't do
philosophy but if they did, it would probably be the best philosophy in
the world.
Tuesday 22 May 2012
Secrets of life
Have you ever been on the brink of understandable some undeniable, hidden truth about our universe or a felt you are about to glimpse behind the mysterious fabric of reality which will reveal the secrets of life, then realise it’s just trapped wind?
Friday 18 May 2012
Alcatraz gets profoundly spiritual
There was a great quote on this TV program the other night (well I
thought so anyway, the program was Alcatraz btw) where the Warden asks
an inmate if he's religious, he says no I'm spiritual. The warden says,
"What's the difference son?" to which the prisoner replies "If you are
spiritual you are seeking answers, if you are religious you are seeking
rewards." Top quote! :)
Thursday 17 May 2012
The death of PC based First Person Shooters?
I’ve been a fan of PC based First Person Shooter games since before
either was invented. I used to sit for endless hours with my right hand
holding a twitching half-dead rat while my left was busy pressing an
assortment of Yale Keys stolen from my Dad’s dungeon. I’d stare at my
bedroom window shouting things like, “WTF? LTP Noob!” One time my Mum
got a priest in who declared I was speaking Sumerian.
When I was released I quickly became enthralled with the PC revolution. FPS games became my forte. Doom, Quake, Half-Life, Unreal Tournament, FAACS (Fictional Anthropomorphic Animal Character Slayer) – I played them all! Online play added a whole new element. I could pwn real players; the only enemy being the evil lag caused by the demonic inspired modem.
I did briefly switch to the Dark Side and tried the original Red Faction and Halo on consoles. I laughed so hard I split a hair follicle. Aiming on console based FPS games involved juggling with two thumb sticks in a virtual world which refused to keep still. I had more chance of catching Mr. Miyagi with chopsticks than hitting my target. The AI’s had to be programmed with Storm Trooper levels of accuracy to give players a chance of winning. At the time I imagined if they tried to develop multiplay FPS all players would have to wear a blindfold and detect each other using the oral “Marco – Polo” method to make it fair and balanced.
I laughed and went back to my superior PC with superior graphics, smooth mouse/keyboard action and skill! I didn’t stop laughing until the neighbours beat me senseless with a cricket bat. Then of course the dreaded Haxor emerged to ruin it all.
Hacks made CounterStrike a nightmare to play. VAC is blatantly insufficient but then again it does stand for Virtually Any Cheat Is Allowed. The ‘IA’ is missed off the end because VACIA sounds like a sex enhancing tablet.
Servers run by Admins who didn’t become power obsessed evil despots saved the day and made the game playable. I soon learned only to go to those blessed of servers and for a couple of years had great fun. However, now we have a fish based FPS series called Cod and when Modern Warfare 2 came out, it had been designed in Infinityward’s wisdom not to have server-side support. This, they pronounced emphatically, was to stop hackers dead in their pants, plus had an unforeseen and unplanned side-effect of making it possible for them to charge for DLC…which is nice. /sarcasm.
I fell for this nefarious claim and purchased said product for my preferred platform from a Game shop assistant with chronic urticaria.
I played and enjoyed the Single-Player Campaign even though it was remarkable easy and quick. According to the stats, when I completed the game I’d been playing for minus 5 minutes. Nonplussed I dived straight into the multiplayer arena!
It soon became blatantly obvious some players had the ability to see through walls. Others could shoot one player with one shot, spin around 790 degrees and shoot another in the nads while teabagging a third. Odd Perks indeed I thought. With these abilities I expected to unlock a Killstreak called, “Delete All Enemy’s Accounts.”
At rank 68 I struggled to gather enthusiasm to play. I hada negative ratio which was so large it makes the San Andreas Fault look like a builder’s butt crack. It was rare for me to go through one gaming session without encountering at least one obvious hacker and Bod knows how many who are more discrete in their cheatering shenanigans. I had taken to playing obscure game modes which hardly anyone plays like ‘Third Person Capture the Hag’ as the haxors tend to stay in normal modes but it’s hardly ideal. The old woman hates being picked up and dragged around the map. She threatens to tell her son-in-law or regale me with tales about her bunions.
Then a mate (who strangely enough only I can see?) bought me a pre-owned copy for the PS3 and said, “Just try it mate!“ whilst smiling like a bible basher. Going against all my instincts and beliefs I did and the difference was simply incredible!
The first few matches were like a ‘Carry on’ film. I’d go to aim down the scope but threw a flashbang and blinded myself instead. I’d try to knife someone but ran faster into their oncoming bullets. Saying ‘Stop’ and holing up my hand doesn’t work like it did for Neo. On my third match I fell backwards out of a window in Highrise. I don’t even want to say how and why I got stuck upside down on a ladder in Quarry.
This was all down to the barbaric controller which is JUST WRONG! I missed my smooth mouse and keyboard action. A player would appear in front of me and I’d panic! I’d press both triggers while rotating the thumb sticks in the hopes I’d unlock a special move and shoot a fireball while screaming ‘Hadouken!’ but it didn’t work.
But then something happened and suddenly I got used to everything. It was like the controller needed to bond with me like a Trill or Goa'uld. I started winning matches. Within a few games I was really enjoying myself; within a few ranks I hit a positive ratio. At rank 42 I had a ratio of 1.27 and found FFA quite easy. I have to seek team based matches for a decent challenge. On the PC version I got killed in the lobby.
There’s good players of course but what’s so refreshing is you don’t see biblical miracles of skill on a regular basis, nor does a Dark Lord of the Sith join the match under the pseudonym /\L33TR@:P0rZ*^|. It appears the PC is the preferred platform of the Empire.
I continued playing both versions for a while, however I found myself spending more and more time on the PS3. It’s hard to login to a game where you don’t know if you are on a level playing field and the evidence from the HackCam proves the mutant genome is ripe amongst the PC community.
Maybe it’s my experience on the PC which makes the PS3 version more playable; maybe the general skill level of the PC’er is greater. Maybe the ‘not talked about much in public’ aim-assist in console FPS games makes all the difference. I don’t know. All I know is it is blatantly obvious a major factor is because the cheaters are more prevalent than ever before. Valve’s stony silence since the 2500 account bannage after MW2 was first launched on the PC speaks volumes. The lack of visible bans in-game encourages more to cheat just to keep up. I actually think it’s reached the point where it’s not the player with the hacks who wins but the one with the best hacks; it’s like the Olympics if drugs and bioengineering were allowed!
Is this the beginning of the end of FPS Multiplay on the PC? Such claims have been made before of course and it’s still here. All I know is I've not looked back since. Black Ops and Modern Warfare 3 were all PS3 purchases. Maybe the hacking problem has got better on the PC? I do not know but it's too late for me.
Sorry for the ‘MASSIVE WALL OF TEXT’ If you’ve actually read all of the above then congratulations! You’ve unlocked a special Title/Emblem and Ranked up! (heh heh, I said ranked).
*WHAM* – ‘TEXTIES TEXTIES..1…2…3’ CHALLENGE COMPLETED
*WHAM* - CUTE INVERTED LOBSTER EMBLEM AWARDED
*WHAM* - YOU HAVE BEEN PROMOTED TO RANK ELEVENTY1!!11
When I was released I quickly became enthralled with the PC revolution. FPS games became my forte. Doom, Quake, Half-Life, Unreal Tournament, FAACS (Fictional Anthropomorphic Animal Character Slayer) – I played them all! Online play added a whole new element. I could pwn real players; the only enemy being the evil lag caused by the demonic inspired modem.
I did briefly switch to the Dark Side and tried the original Red Faction and Halo on consoles. I laughed so hard I split a hair follicle. Aiming on console based FPS games involved juggling with two thumb sticks in a virtual world which refused to keep still. I had more chance of catching Mr. Miyagi with chopsticks than hitting my target. The AI’s had to be programmed with Storm Trooper levels of accuracy to give players a chance of winning. At the time I imagined if they tried to develop multiplay FPS all players would have to wear a blindfold and detect each other using the oral “Marco – Polo” method to make it fair and balanced.
I laughed and went back to my superior PC with superior graphics, smooth mouse/keyboard action and skill! I didn’t stop laughing until the neighbours beat me senseless with a cricket bat. Then of course the dreaded Haxor emerged to ruin it all.
Hacks made CounterStrike a nightmare to play. VAC is blatantly insufficient but then again it does stand for Virtually Any Cheat Is Allowed. The ‘IA’ is missed off the end because VACIA sounds like a sex enhancing tablet.
Servers run by Admins who didn’t become power obsessed evil despots saved the day and made the game playable. I soon learned only to go to those blessed of servers and for a couple of years had great fun. However, now we have a fish based FPS series called Cod and when Modern Warfare 2 came out, it had been designed in Infinityward’s wisdom not to have server-side support. This, they pronounced emphatically, was to stop hackers dead in their pants, plus had an unforeseen and unplanned side-effect of making it possible for them to charge for DLC…which is nice. /sarcasm.
I fell for this nefarious claim and purchased said product for my preferred platform from a Game shop assistant with chronic urticaria.
I played and enjoyed the Single-Player Campaign even though it was remarkable easy and quick. According to the stats, when I completed the game I’d been playing for minus 5 minutes. Nonplussed I dived straight into the multiplayer arena!
It soon became blatantly obvious some players had the ability to see through walls. Others could shoot one player with one shot, spin around 790 degrees and shoot another in the nads while teabagging a third. Odd Perks indeed I thought. With these abilities I expected to unlock a Killstreak called, “Delete All Enemy’s Accounts.”
At rank 68 I struggled to gather enthusiasm to play. I hada negative ratio which was so large it makes the San Andreas Fault look like a builder’s butt crack. It was rare for me to go through one gaming session without encountering at least one obvious hacker and Bod knows how many who are more discrete in their cheatering shenanigans. I had taken to playing obscure game modes which hardly anyone plays like ‘Third Person Capture the Hag’ as the haxors tend to stay in normal modes but it’s hardly ideal. The old woman hates being picked up and dragged around the map. She threatens to tell her son-in-law or regale me with tales about her bunions.
Then a mate (who strangely enough only I can see?) bought me a pre-owned copy for the PS3 and said, “Just try it mate!“ whilst smiling like a bible basher. Going against all my instincts and beliefs I did and the difference was simply incredible!
The first few matches were like a ‘Carry on’ film. I’d go to aim down the scope but threw a flashbang and blinded myself instead. I’d try to knife someone but ran faster into their oncoming bullets. Saying ‘Stop’ and holing up my hand doesn’t work like it did for Neo. On my third match I fell backwards out of a window in Highrise. I don’t even want to say how and why I got stuck upside down on a ladder in Quarry.
This was all down to the barbaric controller which is JUST WRONG! I missed my smooth mouse and keyboard action. A player would appear in front of me and I’d panic! I’d press both triggers while rotating the thumb sticks in the hopes I’d unlock a special move and shoot a fireball while screaming ‘Hadouken!’ but it didn’t work.
But then something happened and suddenly I got used to everything. It was like the controller needed to bond with me like a Trill or Goa'uld. I started winning matches. Within a few games I was really enjoying myself; within a few ranks I hit a positive ratio. At rank 42 I had a ratio of 1.27 and found FFA quite easy. I have to seek team based matches for a decent challenge. On the PC version I got killed in the lobby.
There’s good players of course but what’s so refreshing is you don’t see biblical miracles of skill on a regular basis, nor does a Dark Lord of the Sith join the match under the pseudonym /\L33TR@:P0rZ*^|. It appears the PC is the preferred platform of the Empire.
I continued playing both versions for a while, however I found myself spending more and more time on the PS3. It’s hard to login to a game where you don’t know if you are on a level playing field and the evidence from the HackCam proves the mutant genome is ripe amongst the PC community.
Maybe it’s my experience on the PC which makes the PS3 version more playable; maybe the general skill level of the PC’er is greater. Maybe the ‘not talked about much in public’ aim-assist in console FPS games makes all the difference. I don’t know. All I know is it is blatantly obvious a major factor is because the cheaters are more prevalent than ever before. Valve’s stony silence since the 2500 account bannage after MW2 was first launched on the PC speaks volumes. The lack of visible bans in-game encourages more to cheat just to keep up. I actually think it’s reached the point where it’s not the player with the hacks who wins but the one with the best hacks; it’s like the Olympics if drugs and bioengineering were allowed!
Is this the beginning of the end of FPS Multiplay on the PC? Such claims have been made before of course and it’s still here. All I know is I've not looked back since. Black Ops and Modern Warfare 3 were all PS3 purchases. Maybe the hacking problem has got better on the PC? I do not know but it's too late for me.
Sorry for the ‘MASSIVE WALL OF TEXT’ If you’ve actually read all of the above then congratulations! You’ve unlocked a special Title/Emblem and Ranked up! (heh heh, I said ranked).
*WHAM* – ‘TEXTIES TEXTIES..1…2…3’ CHALLENGE COMPLETED
*WHAM* - CUTE INVERTED LOBSTER EMBLEM AWARDED
*WHAM* - YOU HAVE BEEN PROMOTED TO RANK ELEVENTY1!!11
Wednesday 16 May 2012
A popular Vulcan childhood nursery rhyme
Row your boat utilising minimal exertion heading on course
220.5 down the stream,
Content in the knowledge that life is the property or
quality that distinguishes living organisms from dead organisms and inanimate
matter, manifested in functions such as metabolism, growth, reproduction, and
response to stimuli or adaptation to the environment originating from within
the organism.
Second Verse
Whilst still rowing your boat utilising minimal exertion
heading on course 220.5 down the stream, If you see a crocodile, do not forget to set your phaser to
stun and shoot it using a low density beam.
Diablo III launch fiasco
So Diablo III launches bug ridden and without adequate capacity to support demand. I was so shocked I immediately removed all the skin from my knees with match sticks. It took a while but I felt like I’d achieved something so was disappointed when an achievement did not pop up.
Diablo III is a benchmark in the next phase of gaming developer company greed. They have an auction house where you can buy items, I think even characters, for real cash and ‘Cut-Me-Own-Throat-Dibbler-Blizzard’ gets a cut of each transaction. This would not work if players did not go online so they’ve forced everyone to log in to battle.net to play even single player mode. Now servers cannot keep up with demand and we have stupid bugs like if you give an NPC a shield you get kicked out of the game and cannot log back in. Plus it hides all your underpants in real life.
Modern Warfare, Skyrim, World of Warcraft, Diablo III. All launched full of bugs and/or have performance issues. The companies do not care as long as they meet the deadline because history shows players will still fork out loads of cash and pre-order or spend hours queuing up on launch day. When problems occur the forums fill up with /cry and the rants of adolescents. They do not care as long as you have spent your cash.
Lying down, turning over and exposing your privates to the world is not adequate protest to force change. Hold off for a week or two to see what issues arise like I do. If companies do not get millions in revenue on launch day from a product which is not up to standards then they may take note and actually do something about it. It’s an idea so crazy, it just might work!
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